what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
