She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
