what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
