I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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