is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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