How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
