Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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