Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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