Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
its not stalking. its research.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
