I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
