I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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