Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize