It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How's work?
Spinning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
