Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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