I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
how does that bad decision feel?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
