You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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