Three words: puerto rican gang bang
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
