I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
