wakey wakey hands off snakey
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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