there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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