she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
