I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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