I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
