So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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