i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
