Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
