Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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