Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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