I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
