My brain says no but my pants say off.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
