Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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