hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
