And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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