just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
