Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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