Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
