Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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