He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
