Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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