the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
