I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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