at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
