does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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