I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
