Already got asked if we're dating
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Randomize
