thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
