So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
