in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
