my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
