Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize