I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
