Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
