he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
