It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize