Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
