ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
