we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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