wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
