my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
