Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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