Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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