ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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