i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize