i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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