People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
