so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize