I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize