you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The feeling are messing with the penis
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
