im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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