There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
