his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
that is very illegal...i love you.
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