i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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